By John W. Lillpop
In a scandal that has yet to receive appropriate attention from the mainstream media, yet another impeachable offense hovers above the head of embattled US President Barack Obama and his comrades in lies in Washington, D.C.
Reliable sources are reporting that America faces a historic Pinocchio shortage brought on by a record influx of misrepresentations, denials, fabricated stories, exaggerations and out-and-out lies promulgated by President Obama, DOJ boss Eric Holder, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and a variety of unnamed co-conspirators, all Democrats, in Washington.
Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney has been rumored to be a central figure in the Great Pinocchio scandal of 2013.
Although he declined to discuss specific details of the mushrooming kerfuffel, Carney did release a terse statement to members of the Washington Press Corp, which reads as follows:
“Based on conversations with the president, I can state categorically that he is confident that his administration has been the most transparent, forthright, and honest in US history. That confidence extends to this reporter who has usually told you the truth, the unvarnished truth, and nothing but the truth.
The very idea that the President and or his spokesman would prevaricate on issues vital to the health and safety of the American people is highly offensive. Neither the President, myself, the Attorney General, or Former Secretary Clinton are amused by this reckless speculation.
This Administration is committed to getting to the bottom of this ugly, viscous partisan assault and we will be looking into e-mails, phone records, tax filings, video rental records, and other personal information to flesh out the truth.
Rest assured that whichever right-wing extremist group is responsible for this vendetta, remedial action will be taken.
As much as I would like to take your questions, I must decline because the matter is currently under investigation.
(Applause from the press.)
And so goes another lost opportunity for the media to show that it has the cajoles to meet its constitutional obligations to provide an objective, unbiased oversight of the most wicked administration in US history!