Satire by John W. Lillpop
Barack Obama and Democrats in Congress are celebrating a major “breakthrough” in the war on the W. Bush depression and persistent unemployment numbers: Stop unemployed blokes from looking!
This brilliant strategy—Stop Looking!– has proven very effective in mitigating disturbing unemployment reports which typically haunt the Obama Administration and the Democrat Party on the first Friday of every month.
For example, the December 2013 Jobs report, released January 10, indicates that the unemployment rate tumbled from 7.0% to 6.7%, despite a putridly-low 74,000 jobs created in the month.
Democrats hailed the report as proof positive that the Obama strategy of “Stop Looking!” is paying off, and is creating a new normal in the dicey science of unemployment analysis and government action.
Specifically, as reported: “The unemployment rate tumbled from 7.0% to 6.7% because in December the civilian labor force did what it usually does in the New Normal: it dropped from 155.3 million to 154.9 million, which means the labor participation rate just dropped to a fresh 35 year low, hitting levels not seen since 1978, at 62.8% down from 63.0%.”
Glad hands all about for the Obama solution to the vexing problem facing those unable to find work!
To celebrate the great news, Democrats introduced legislation to extend unemployment handouts for an additional 26 weeks. This seems to confirm the curious notion that unemployment is one of government’s most potent weapons against a poor economy, a notion proffered by the Dean of Demented Democrats, Dr. Nancy Pelosi who said the following in 2010:
Unemployment benefits are creating jobs faster than practically any other program, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi said back in 2010.
Talking to reporters, Pelosi, at the time the House speaker, said about unemployment benefits:
“It injects demand into the economy,” Pelosi said, arguing that when families have money to spend it keeps the economy churning. “It creates jobs faster than almost any other initiative you can name.”
Pelosi said the aid has the “double benefit” of helping those who lost their jobs and acting as a “job creator” on the side.
“It’s impossible to think of a situation where we would have a country that would say we’re not going to have unemployment benefits,” Pelosi said.”
According to Pelosi and other scholars with thinking disabilities, extending unemployment benefits causes the jobless to ‘Stop Looking!’ which invariably drives the rate down!
On the other side of the issue, Senator Jeff Sessions (R-Ala) sees unemployment benefits as disincentives to productive living, as reported:
“Today’s jobs report underscores a deeper problem facing our economy: a large and growing block of people who are chronically jobless and completely outside the workforce. In December, the economy added only 74,000 jobs – not nearly enough to keep up with population growth –and 347,000 left the workforce. That means for every one job added, nearly 5 people left the workforce entirely.
There are now nearly 92 million Americans outside the workforce, resulting in the lowest participation rate in 36 years. The President’s immigration plan will only make things dramatically worse – and no amount of ‘promise zones’ will be a sufficient remedy for the millions of displaced workers.
“We must help people move off of welfare, off of unemployment, and into good-paying jobs that can support a family. More tax, spend, borrow and regulate will only produce more joblessness, dependency and debt. Instead, we need more American energy, streamlined taxes and regulations, a leaner and less wasteful government, better trade and immigration enforcement, and a reformed welfare system that helps struggling Americans realize the dream of financial independence.”
Reached for comment on Senator Session’s cruel remarks, Rep. Pelosi issued a terse statement, “Once again, the GOP is willing to leave powerless Americans in the lurch just to make Barack Obama look bad!
We continue to urge patriotic Americans of all colors, races, and nationalities, to join the president in the war on those whom would destroy the American Dream!”
“I repeat, when it comes to jobs, “Stop Looking,” America!”
From the hollowed lips of the little birdbrain from San Francisco.